It’s like a gemstone. The more you look into it, the more intriguing it gets. There is SO MUCH and SO MANY WAYS to do it. Writer cliche languishing in solitude for most of the working week, I’ve been reluctant until now to go heavy with social media. It’s seemed like an intrusion, not to mention an effort/inconvenience I don’t have time for. But with a big new book on the horizon I am finally bowing to the expectation that I need it: an ONLINE AUTHOR PLATFORM.

Pushed for time, I find myself watching ‘HOW TO TO TWEET/BLOG/PROMOTE/#HASHTAG’ Youtube video guides (big up @brittanywang and iWriterly) while fixing tea for my kids. Its the perfect solution. My husband loves cooking, but works too late to be home in time for the daily kitchen. I hate cooking, but love learning, and love the possibility that, if I up my social media game as the videos suggest, I can sell enough books to buy said husband out of the rat-race, thus making him available to provide the smalls with a regular decent meal rather than the ‘rice surprise’ they have come to loathe. Put another way, buy my books and you will feed my children…

So, after a little learning and conseicentious application, suddenly I find myself in some kind of social media mind-warp takeover. The switch has flicked. Everything – from cups of tea to unusual umbrella handles – has become fair game for the feed. My life must be lived through opportunist flashes of instagrammable prowess. I’m just itching to send you snaps with the filter of Clarendon to show all the snow that has fallen and frozen in suburbia. Although your feed is probably clogged with these already, right? Do you really need another?

Then there’s the browsing. Twitter is fun, albeit confusing (…I’m not sure but I might have inadvertently offended @joanne harris). Facebook is steady. Instagram is a feast. I like visuals. I could do this all day, gaze wondrously at images of exquisite dragon jewellery, artfully staged vintage wedding scenes, and ‘takes-me-back’ photos of 90s pop icons. I could do it so much, I could forget/neglect to write that new novel.  Which kind of defeats the purpose of plugging in in the first place. Plus there’s some pesky Brexit thing going on in the background. And three children. And life in general.

So I will be back. There will be more. But patience please, I’m new. And in the mean time… here are some charming photos of cats in bomber jackets… #VicandBob

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