To do a daily craft activity even if glue and glitter is involved
To say an immediate ‘yes’ to requests for cycling/scootering/park/football/swimming
To recognise that two ice lollies and a Baby Bell do not constitute a meal
Ditto Belvita breakfast biscuits
To water the garden as necessary and not just with children’s spontaneous outdoor weeing
To put a stop to said weeing
To enforce the wearing of clothes in public places
On day-trips, to make a *delicious* array of homemade picnic food, rather than resorting to happy meals
If lucky enough to get to go to Westfield at night, to leave overtired, tearful children at home (unlike the rest of Stratford)
To understand that the ‘self-administering’ bedtime routine has it’s limitations
ARGH! Ever had that feeling life is running out of control?
I thought I had the school summer holiday mapped out. A perfect balance of early morning writing (a comfortable 1-1.5k a day), the final tweaks for my forthcoming Early Reader ‘In The Garden’, the edit of a beloved old manuscript, plenty of painting afternoons in my summerhouse studio…all blended with a carousel of day-trips, play-dates and other child-related activities.
So why do those little coloured iCal event boxes refuse to behave? I have spent the last few hours squeezing and nudging and teasing my list of duties, but the sums aren’t working. How do I fit so many words into so few hours and still present as a committed parent? What was it J G Ballard said about ‘the pram in the hall’?
Oh heck. I made so many promises in the first one. Now it feels like I’ve got to deliver. Rather like that awkward second date – the one where you think the guy/girl likes you, possibly enough to marry you. Then you get to the restaurant and realise they aren’t quite as debonair / witty / odourless / wealthy / well-proportioned as you (drunkenly) remembered…
Do you stick or twist? Sticking may lead to wasted time, fake laughter and lengthy monologues about office administration systems (I assure you, there are some BORING PEOPLE out there on the dating circuit…) Twisting is impolite and likely to result in a modicum (albeit small) of guilt.
If you do decide to stick, you avoid the guilt and you may also discover that, after an uncomfortable first hour, you and Mr/Miss/Mrs Boring-Pants have an unexpected rapport after all. And that, in fact, office administration is an underrated and highly fascinating art form. Oh, and you might get drunk sex.
But drunk sex, as any fool knows, always leads to disaster (and sometimes babies).
My advice: choose your second-date wisely and don’t put out until the third 😉
To that end, I think I’ll shelf this tricky second blog right here !